A little piece of heaven

You might have noticed (or you might not have) that I closed up shop for a bit and then reopened without much of an explanation. And I'm not really going to give much of an explanation now either, except to say that ... this blog is not the safe place I thought it was. However, instead of having an all-or-nothing attitude, I've made some minor adjustments and other than that I'm going to continue to do my thing, whether I have complete privacy or not. Know why? Because I need this. And I need you to hear me. And it's time for me to start standing up for myself for a change, and having something that I want because I think it's what's best for me is a step in the right direction! What a revelation, right? So. I'm back. Hello! I've missed you! 

While I was away for what I believe was about a week, but what felt to me like about a month, I had some time to reflect on why I started doing this in the first place and what I want to get out of it. My original purpose -- which is now clearly outlined in a stand-alone page as indicated by a fancy-schmancy tab at the top of my blog -- was to help others locate resources to battle pornography. I have been at such a loss for so long as to how to deal with this issue myself! And I wanted to help others find their way. The funny thing is ... as I started building my site and trying to help others, others really started helping me. You ladies know who you are. 

At the risk of being totally sappy and sentimental, I want to take a quick second to say thanks. Thank you to all of you who take the time to pour your hearts out, to share your pain, to bear each other's burdens, to lift up the hands that hang down, to be open and honest, and to just ... be there. It means more than you know to more people than you know.

Okay! So! On with the show! I would like to take a moment to share something that might go overlooked but that is actually very significant on my newly revamped little spot. It's behind my header at the top of my blog. It's my little piece of heaven. 

Now, at first glance, this graphic element may appear to be a mere clip I swiped from google images or some such. But it is NOT! In fact, that unbelievably blue sky and those cotton-puff clouds are untouched and cropped from one of my very own photos! Believe it! That picture was taken at the top of an enormous mountain, probably higher than most people will ever climb in their lifetime. And I was there! And I saw that sight with my very own eyes. I felt like I was on top of the world on that warm, breezy summer day. The view was spectacular and so quiet. If I could've, I would have wrapped my arms around it and brought it home with me in my pack, all of it -- the brilliant sunshine, the wind against my body, and the massiveness of the world below me ... and that baby-blue sky and those cotton clouds. But instead I settled for a photograph. And now I'm sharing it with you. Well, a little bit of it at least. :)

I've heard of holy men through the ages communing with the Lord on the "tops of the mountains." And I suppose that thought had crossed my mind when I included this little piece of heaven on my blog. But besides that, the time of life when I had this experience is significant too. Things seemed heavenly then. And it's not just because I was closer to the sky. Things were simpler then. Simpler in our life together. Simpler in our marriage. Before infidelity. Addiction had already raised its ugly head several years before, but I thought we were winning. We seemed to be on the right track. We were so much happier then. All was right in the world. The Spirit was in our home and in our relationship. We were a team. When I look at this strip of sky, I remember that feeling. That feeling of peace and love and strength. And hope and happiness. When I look at my blog now, I see my little piece of heaven and I breathe deeply, and I remember, all was once right in the world, and it can be again. If I just have hope and keep going. Day by day. I'll get there. I'll get my little piece of heaven back.