To the mothers

realgoesright

I've been wondering all day what to say to you. It hasn't been an easy day. Special occasions just aren't easy in the middle of a yucky divorce. And that's just the way it's going to for a while, I guess. But it's getting progressively better. At least this time, I didn't quarantine myself to my room for the entire day, collapse on the floor behind my bed, and cry my eyes out ... um, I mean, not like that has happened during any recent holidays or anything ... errrrr ... moving on ... But seriously, it was a pretty good day. Even though my heart is hurting, I enjoyed my extended family immensely, and I relished my boys. And I thought about all of you. A lot. Chances are if your are visiting my spot you or someone you know doesn't have that picture-perfect ideal family like the primary kids were singing about in church this morning. This year, the second verse of "Love is Spoken Here" was especially hard for me:

Mine is a home where every hour

is blessed by the strength of priesthood power

With father and mother leading the way

Teaching me how to trust and obey;

And the things they teach are crystal clear,

For love is spoken here.

As I watched my little son singing his heart out -- singing those words -- a sharp jolt replaced the sappy smile on my face and my skin began to crawl as I realized ... that is not his home at all. The poor choices of another have robbed that from him. And my heart broke for him. Maybe you are like me. Maybe that is not your home either. Maybe there is no priesthood, no father, no trust, no love. Maybe the things you teach are not crystal clear to your children because the things you teach are not reflected in the examples set within that home. But you know what? There is another verse to the song:

I see my mother kneeling with our family each day.

I hear the words she whispers as she bows her head to pray.

Her plea to the Father quiets all my fears,

And I am thankful love is spoken here.

I can often feel the Savior near

When love is spoken here.

At the end of the day (which it is ... and boy am I tired!), my conclusion is this: I have done all that I can. I have taught my children the gospel. I have maintained a home where the Savior is the focus and where scripture study is a mainstay. I've knelt with my family each day and I will continue to do so every day for the rest of my life, because even though my home has been destroyed and my dreams of having an eternal family have been shattered, I have the power to keep doing what I know is right. Others may have the power to change my circumstances, but they don't have the power to change who I am. And if I remain strong and faithful, whispering and bowing my head and pleading with the Lord (or offering perhaps a more voluminous plea from time to time--okay maybe a lot of the time lately), I hope with all my heart that I will, indeed, be able to quiet all my children's fears. And I hope they will hear love spoken in the home I will build for them and feel the Savior near. I have to believe that I can make it happen if I just keep going on the path I started on. So, this bump in the road feels a little like a mountain? Bring on the climbing gear, baby! I'm going up and over! 

To wrap things up, I'd just like to leave a thought with you from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. It was sent to me today by someone I love very much and it really touched me: 

"Mothers, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are, better than you are, and better than you have ever been. And if, for whatever reason, you are making this courageous effort alone, without your husband at your side, then our prayers will be all the greater for you. Know that in faith things will be made right in spite of you, or more correctly, because of you. We thank all of you, and tell you there is nothing more important in this world than participating so directly in the work and glory of God. 

May I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.”  (Jeffrey R. Holland, "Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership With God")